Good News / Bad News

GOOD NEWS: 

My beloved Redskins didn’t lose another game yesterday.

BAD NEWS:

I’m not holding out much hope for similar results this Sunday.

MORE GOOD NEWS:

The Redskins are on track to land a high draft pick this April.

MORE BAD NEWS:

Chances are good that the Skins will either squander that pick on the likes of Heath Shuler, Rod Gardner or Michael Westbrook, or else they’ll trade it away for an over the hill has-been.

FINAL GOOD NEWS:

Chances are pretty good that I’ll be able to get a sweet deal on a nice Redskins jersey this year!

FINAL BAD NEWS:

The jersey will be outdated next season, as surely that player will no longer be on the team (hmmmm…maybe this is actually good news?)

 

Sad sad times for this Redskins Fan. 

Sad Times for this Redskins Fan (who is secretly holding out hope that Zorn will somehow find a way to win and make himself look brilliant and at the same time make Snyder and Cerrato look like the buffoons that they are)

This has been circulating via email amongst the Skins fan.  It’s a sad sad sad day, for sure.  (and yes…I’m still a Redskins Fan and yes, I’m still a Jim Zorn fan. . . but it gets harder and harder every day…)

 

 

 

Memorial Service

 

 

 

 

Washington

 

 

 

DEADSKINS

 

 

 

 

Sunrise: 1932 – Sunset: 2009

 

 

 

 

Washington

 

 

 

DEADSKINS

 

 

 

FedExField

Landover, Maryland

 

 

 

 

Pallbearers

 

 

 

Brian Mitchell

Rick “Doc” Walker

John Riggins

LaVar Arrington

Joe Jacoby

Trevor Matich

———–

 

 

 

“Hail to the Deadskins”

 

 

 

Hail to the Deadskins,

No victory.

We can’t score touchdowns,

We just take the three!

Run or pass and score, we need a lot more,

Portis doesn’t practice ‘cause his foot’s sore.

Gripe on, gripe on ‘til Vin-ny’s gone

Shame in Wash-ing-ton

Boo, Boo, Boo!

Hail to the Deadskins,

No victory.

Let’s grab Dan Snyder

Hang him from a tree!

————

 

 

 

Funeral Arrangements (Ten Years in the Making)

 

 

 

by

Snyder/Cerrato Funeral Home

Ashburn, Virginia

—————–

 

 

Obituary

 

 

 

The Washington Deadskins, born the

Boston Braves in 1932, passed away in

October 2009, following a ten-year long

illness inflicted upon it by team owner

Daniel M. Snyder and pseudo-general

manager Vinny Cerrato. After several false

alarms and faint glimmers of playoff

hope, the once proud franchise developed

a fatal aversion to the end-zone, and

succumbed in a slow, painful death. The

team leaves behind thousands of

disgruntled fans, angry tailgaters, and

despondent season ticket holders, as well

as tons of unsold Deadskins merchandise,

one puzzled quar terback, and an

emasculated head coach.

 

 

 

Oh, how the once mighty have fallen!

 

 

 

 

Order of Service

 

Processional

Hymn …………………………. “Hail to the Deadskins”

Testimonials ……………….. Norv Turner, Terry Robiskie, Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, and Joe Gibbs

Apology to Fans ………….. Daniel M. Snyder & Vinny Cerrato

Eulogy ………………………..Jim Zorn (this could take a while)

Hymn ………………………. “Amazing Disgrace”

Benediction ……… ……….Brian Mitchell (got to have the last word)

RecessionalBurial at FedExField(Just short of the north end-zone)followed by a torch and pitchfork march to the homes ofDan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato.

Repast at Johnny Rocket’s overpriced burgers and shakes.

I Did It!

The jury was still out when I first posted about my plans to knit a baby cardigan here.

I started out with this:

Malabrigo's Merino Worsted in Blue Surf

And somehow, someway. . . managed to turn it into this:

In Blues

And because I’m goofy, you get this picture too.  When I went to take a picture of the cardigan in my dining room, I noticed that the blue in the cardigan matched the blue in my china just perfectly…thus…

Tea Anyone?

Interested in the pattern?  Check here for Kelly Without A Net knitting patterns – In Threes:  A Baby Cardigan.

I also finished a crochet project – a cowl.  I love the color and am now working on a hat to match. 

Autumn Cowl

Now I need to get to work on the scarf I’m knitting for Dad’s birthday.  Less than 2 weeks to go and I’m only 1/2 way finished!  I keep getting sidetracked with knitting and crocheting for charity.  And today The Boy told me that they are holding a charity drive and his school.  You know what that means…more hats to crochet and knit!  YAY!  or is it YAY?

I Saw God Yesterday

Yesterday as H and I left his preschool, we walked out behind an older gentleman who was headed to his car. 

H recognized the man and became very excited.

H:  Mommy, that’s God!

Mommy:  No, sweetie, I’m sorry, but that’s not God.

H:  Mommy, I want to follow God’s car.  I want to follow God home.

Mommy:  Sweetie, I’m sorry, but that’s not God. 

H:  Yes, that’s God.  I want to follow him.  I love God.

Mommy:  That’s really nice, H.  But I don’t think that’s God. 

H:  Let’s follow God home.

H was so sure that the man was God.  I stopped trying to convince him otherwise.  When the man’s car turned in the opposite direction from us, I told H that we wouldn’t be able to follow him today.  H was disappointed.  So, I said “God is always with us in our hearts.  It’s okay if we don’t follow him home today.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer.

The Kiss Of Death – AKA – The NFL’s Sexiest Head Coaches

 In August 2008, I wrote about The NFL’s Sexiest Head Coaches for the 2008-2009 NFL season.  Let’s check in and see how these coaches are doing one year later.

MIKE NOLAN:

FIRED as Head Coach of the San Francisco 49ers on October 20, 2008. 

Mike Nolan

JON GRUDEN:

FIRED as Head Coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on January 16, 2009. 

Jon Gruden

Hmmm…are you sensing a pattern yet?

JACK DEL RIO:

Del Rio is still the Head Coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars.  The Jags finished out the 2008 season with a 5-11 record after going 11-5 in 2007.  2009 is not shaping up to look much better for Del Rio and the Jags as their record stands at 2-3 following an abyssmal 41-0 shutout at the hands of the Seattle Seahawks last week.  Things aren’t too bright in J-ville – good looking coach or not.

Jack Del Rio

And finally…

 

JIM ZORN:

  

Zorn’s Redskins finished the 2008 season at an even 8-8.  This season, the team is at 2-3, having lost to the previously undefeated Detroit Lions and Carolina Panthers, while barely squeeking out wins against 2 of the worst teams in the NFL, Tampa Bay and St. Louis.  Many don’t look for Zorn to make it past the bye week with his job in tact.  Time will tell.  But I’m not holding out much hope for Zorn, especially with the Nothing Fancy curse hanging over his head.

 

Jim Zorn

 

So…I have learned that I must be careful with my Sexiest NFL Coaches selections.  I have power and I must use it wisely and to my advantage as a Redskins fan.  As a result…I give you my Top 4 selections for the 2009 NFL’s Sexiest Head Coaches.

NFL’s SEXIEST HEAD COACHES – 2009 EDITION:

(4) ANDY REID – Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, a division rival of the Redskins.

(3)  TOM COUGHLIN – Head Coach of the New York Giants, a division rival of the Redskins. 

Tom Coughlin

(2)  BILL BELLICHIK – Head Coach of the New England Patriots…you know…the team that wins ALL THE TIME.

Bill Belichick

And…the #1 honors go to. . .

(1)  WADE PHILLIPS – Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys, a division rival of the Redskins and my all around least favorite team in the league.

Wade Phillips

 Enjoy Ladies!    

 

 

 

Nancy And The Flu Shot

I haven’t entertained you all with a “Nancy” story in quite some time.  Here are a few of his latest:

Background: 

 I love to share stories about my coworker, Nancy.  Nancy is a man and of course, “Nancy” is not his real name.  It’s a nickname that my colleague and friend, Bill, and I have determined is most suitable.  Nancy is a 45-year old married man with 2 children.  He is college-educated and has worked for over 20 years in the finance industry.  He is an idiot and a pansy.  Click here for more Nancyisms.  You won’t be disappointed.

The Flu Shot Story:

The company offers free flu shots for its employees.  Last Wednesday was the day to get flu shots and the clinic asked that employees come during specific time slots according to their last name.  Nancy, Bill and I would go during the same time slot.  Bill decided that rather than getting the flu shot from The Company, he is going with his wife over the weekend.  He told this to both Nancy and me, so that we’d know not to expect him to walk over with us.  Nancy’s immediate reply was “Then I won’t go either.”

At my designated time, I walked over to the clinic by myself.  I stood in line, got my shot and returned to work.  It took all of 15 minutes.  I mentioned to Bill later that day that I got my shot and that the entire process was a breeze.  Bill informed me that although he told Nancy that he wasn’t getting the shot, Nancy still asked him TWICE if he was ready to walk over to the clinic. 

Finally, late afternoon arrived and Nancy still had not walked over to the clinic.  He inquired with Bill once again and once again Bill said “No, I’m not going.”  Bill suggested that Nancy could walk over with Mary and PW, as they planned to head over later.  Nancy asked Mary, but Mary said she already went earlier.  Nancy even asked Bill to walk over with him even though Bill isn’t getting a shot.

Finally, Nancy asked Really Nice Guy to walk over with him.  RNG wasn’t getting a shot, but he’s a really nice guy, so he walked over with Nancy.  They returned quickly, so Bill asked how he got back so fast.  Nancy said that the nurse told him he couldn’t get a shot because he didn’t have one last year.

HUH?  Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

#1)  The statement is not true.

#2)  He made a big production of telling us that he got a free flu shot at Giant Food last year (although we did know at the time that it was a lie).

What a candy@.

The Hit Her Miss Story:

Nancy has trouble getting his slang and lingo correct.  Some of his misstatements either verbally or in writing include:

• “Dude” = Tude (attitude)
• “Bob Wire” = Barbed Wire
• “A Wall” = AWOL (absent without leave)
• “Dish” =  Dis (disrespect)
• “Medium” = When referring to a median strip.
• “Vanilla” = When referring to a manilla folder.
• “To/Too/Two” = Always always always uses the incorrect one.
• “There/Their/They’re” = Always always always uses the incorrect one.
• “Medal/Meddle/Metal” – Always always always uses the incorrect one.

And my personal favorite:  Hit Her Miss = Hit Or Miss.  The idiot honestly thinks that they saying is “Hit Her Miss.”

The Baby Blanket Story:

My friend Debbie and I often spend our lunch hour in the cafeteria working on our latest crochet project.  On Wednesday, we were in the cafe and Debbie was showing me the baby blanket she is making for a friend.  Bill and Nancy walked by and admired her handiwork.

Later Bill told me that Nancy was all a flutter after seeing Debbie and I crocheting.  He told Bill that his 15-year-old son had a blanket like that when he was a baby.  Then he asked Bill, “I should bring it in to show Nothing Fancy.”

Bill said, “I don’t think so.”

Thank goodness!

In Three, Two, One. . .

I completed the Tooty Fruity Winter set and just love it.  The mittens are adorable and super easy to crochet!  I’ll be donating these to charity.  Check them out! 

Tooty Fruity Winter Set

 For my next project, I’ll be taking a big leap of faith!  My friend Kelly Without A Net, mentioned several weeks ago that she was designing a baby sweater.  I got a sneak peek of the sweater and thought it was simply adorable.  I believe I said something like “I wish I could do that!” and Kelly insisted that I could.  Since it’s a new design, she was looking for test knitters to try out her pattern, so I signed up.

Kelly’s design is called In Threes.  It’s the perfect knit to challenge me as I’ve never knitted a sweater before, have never cast on mid project before and have never blocked a garment before.  Three new challenges for me “In Threes.”  As a mom to 2 boys, knitting this sweet baby girl sweater will be a treat.  In addition, with H’s 3rd birthday coming up, knitting a baby sweater will give me pause for reflection and unfortunately some sadness in realizing that H’s baby years are truly behind him. 

I’ve selected Malabrigo’s Merino Worsted yarn in Blue Surf for the sweater.  I know, I know.  It’s a baby girl sweater and I’ve selected a baby boy blue color.  It’s my own little silent tribute to my sweet boys who are no longer babies.  Plus, baby girls look sweet in blue too!

Check out my progress so far!

Malabrigo's Merino Worsted in Blue Surf

Okay, Okay.  So I haven’t made much progress yet.  Okay, Okay.  So I haven’t even started.  But isn’t that blue gorgeous?

But stay tuned and before you know it that little round ball might just look like “something”!   And be sure to check out what In Threes looks like when knitted by a fabulous knitter, here.

 

It’s Potty Time

H will be 3 years old next month.  No, he’s not potty trained yet. 

He’ll use the potty at preschool, but only at the pre-designated potty times. 

He never ever ever ever ever uses the potty at home.

BUT…

Each and every time we go out somewhere…he tells me that he has to use the potty.  And each time, he says he has to go “poop.”

Each and every time we are out in public and he tells me he has to go “poop”, I take him into the nasty public restroom, line the dang toilet w/ paper, hang onto him with dear life and try to prevent him from touching anything. 

And each and every time, he sits on the pot for a good 10 minutes, insisting that he has to “poop”.

And each and every time…no poop…just a duck.

Sigh.

NFL Week 3

I went 9 – 7 again last week with my picks and am now 18-14 on the season.  Not bad, but not that good.

Here are my picks for week 3 in the NFL:

Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) - The Eagles are riddled with injuries at key positions.  McNabb is unlikely to start as he’s still recovering from the cracked rib he suffered in the season’s opener.  Kevin Kolb will likely start again this week at quarterback with Michael Vick perhaps stepping in on a few Wildcat plays.  Running back, Brian Westbrook and Receiver, DeSean Jackson are both Questionable for Sunday’s game against the Chiefs.  The Chiefs have a real chance to win this week, but home field advantage will help the Eagles eek this one out.  EAGLES WIN

Green Bay Packers (1-1) at St. Louis Rams (0-2) - The Rams will play at home, but this won’t be the game where they find their first win of the season.  PACKERS WIN

San Francisco 49ers (2-0) at Minnesota Vikings (2-0) - I like what San Fran is doing this year, but Adrian Peterson will just be too much for the 49ers defense.  VIKINGS WIN

Cleveland Browns (0-2) at Baltimore Ravens (2-0) - Ravens defense will be too much for the struggling Browns.  RAVENS WIN

New York Giants (2-0) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2) – Tampa Bay is still trying to find its way.  The Giants know where they’re going.  GIANTS WIN

Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2) at Houston Texans (1-1) – The Texans are notoriously inconsistent and the Jaguars are surprisingly struggling.  TEXANS WIN

Tennessee Titans (0-2) at New York Jets (2-0) – The Jets are on a roll and are playing at home.  They won’t be able to keep up the win streak for much longer, but I’m not betting against them this week.  JETS WIN

Atlanta Falcons (2-0) at New England Patriots (1-1) – I like Atlanta!  FALCONS WIN

Washington Redskins (1-1) at Detroit Lions (0-2) - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…don’t let the Redskins be the team that gives the Lions their first win since 2007.  PLEASE!  REDSKINS WIN

Chicago Bears (1-1) at Seattle Seahawks (1-1) – It’s unlikely that Matt Hasselbeck will go for the Seahawks, meaning that Seneca Wallace will get the start.  The Seahawks are banged up, but I have a really hard time rooting for Jay Cutler and the Hawks are at home.  SEAHAWKS WIN

New Orleans Saints (2-0) at Buffalo Bills (1-1) – I like the Saints to go all the way this year.  They’ll suffer losses sooner or later, but it won’t be this week.  SAINTS WIN

Miami Dolphins (0-2) at San Diego Chargers (1-1) – I hate to see the Dolphins lose a third game in a row, but I think Philip Rivers will put this game away.  CHARGERS WIN

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) at Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) – The Bengals found their offense last week and thus this game will be closer than people originally anticipated.  STEELERS WIN

Denver Broncos (2-0) at Oakland Raiders (1-1) - Yawn.  BRONCOS Win

Indianapolis Colts (2-0) at Arizona Cardinals (1-1) - Kurt Warner = HUBBA HUBBA!  Larry Fitzgerald = FUN TO WATCH!  CARDINALS WIN

Carolina Panthers (0-2) at Dallas Cow boys (1-1) - I’ll never pick the Cowboys.  PANTHERS WIN

There you have it!  Enjoy the games!

Hats Off!

Donating to a good cause feels so good and I’ve still got the itch!  This time we’re knitting and crocheting hats, scarves, and mittens/gloves to donate to our area’s Coalition for the Homeless.

I found a crochet pattern for a cute little ruffled hat and decided to give it a try.  I used Caron’s Simply Soft Brites in the Watermelon color thinking . . . what could be more fun for a little girl than a bright pink ruffled hat?  I’m struggling with gauge, so I made the hat intending for it to fit a baby, but it’s the perfect size for a preschooler!  Oh and I’m new to Poms too…so this one could use more fluff!

Watermelon Ruffle Hat

My friend Debbie found crochet patterns for an adorable Santa Hat, Scarf, Mittens set.  She dove right in and completed a super cute set in red with white fur.  I decided to give the hat a try.  Here’s my version worked in Caron’s Simply Soft Brites – Berry Blue with Lion Brand Fur – Citrus.  Again, I’m still struggling with gauge, so this hat – intended for a young girl, actually will fit a toddler.  What can you do?  The great thing about knitting and crocheting for charity is that no matter what size the hats turn out to be – they will fit someone who needs them!

Tooty Fruity Hat

 I’m halfway finished with the scarf to match my Tooty Fruity hat and then I plan to give the mittens a try.  When Debbie first showed me the pattern for the mittens, I said “I’ll stick to the scarf.”  But she worked them up and then translated the pattern into English for me and I totally think I can do it!  I can’t wait to finish up the scarf so I can give them a try!

Oh and I haven’t given up on knitting.  I still have my cabled scarf on the needles and it looks beautiful!  I’m slow with my knitting and scarves are boring, so I find myself setting the scarf aside to work on quick wins like these hats. 

I also just purchased my first skein of Malabrigo Merino Worsted yarn.  I’ve heard much about this yarn, but I’m cheap and buy all of my yarn with coupons at Joann Fabrics.  But a friend asked me to test knit a pattern she is designing and I thought that would be a great opportunity to try some nice yarn.  I purchased the Malabrigo from a fellow knitter on Ravelry and since I only needed one skein, I got a great deal!  It arrived yesterday and is TO DIE FOR!  I was secretly hoping I’d hate it.  Now…if my knitting can just do it justice, all will be good.  Wish me luck with the test knit!