I mentioned earlier here that H started preschool a few weeks ago. Blue Eyes and I did a lot of talking and soul-searching and finally decided that the timing was right for H to move from the home daycare he had been attending to a more structured child development preschool program. We were very pleased to find a Christian child development center that just opened near our home. After visiting the center, we loved it and knew it would be good for H.
H is now in his 4th week at the new preschool. He seems to like his 2 teachers and talks about the other children in the class. He especially enjoys the outside play time and it getting exposure to things he has never tried before – arts & crafts, etc. He is also doing well with eating with the class. This was a big concern for us because H is NOT a good eater and is very small and undersized. In fact, H is at least a head shorter than the smallest girl in the class and is very thin. He is far and away the smallest kid in the class, in spite of the fact that they are all the same age.
Yesterday, when I picked up H, I had an opportunity to chat with one of his teachers. She told me about a kid in the class who is very aggressive and is pushing the other children around. She mentioned that she and the other teacher are working with this kid and often have to remove him from the situation at hand because of his aggression and that he continually pushes the other kids. This same kid is not a good listener and is having trouble following the rules/routine. He gets angry when he doesn’t get to do what he wants to do and takes out his frustration in an aggressive manner. She said that they are working with this kid so that he will become comfortable with the routine and so that he will understand the appropriate way to play with his friends and will hopefully stop pushing the other kids around.
I’m sure you can understand, that as a parent of a very small and undersized child, I would be concerned about a bully in the class. H would be an easy target, right? Because he is so small?
Except that my son IS the bully.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
But I know it’s true. I’ve seen some evidence of it on the webcam. My tiny son is the class bully.
On Saturday, I took H to his friend’s birthday party. The party was at Pump-It-Up. H had a great time and did a really nice job playing with the other children. I was proud. Afterwards, there was cake in the party room. Once the children had their cake, they all started roaming about the room. H’s friend Max was at the party. Max is VERY tall – head and shoulders over H. Max’s OLDER brother was also at the party. I’m not sure how old Max’s brother is, but I suspect he’s like Max and looks older than he actually is because of his size. Anyway, Max’s brother was minding his own business, when H walked up from behind him and shoved him. Max’s brother must be a good kid, because he just ignored it and moved away. I couldn’t believe that H picked the biggest kid there to push around.
What did I do? I quickly turned my head and pretended that I didn’t see what happened!
So, yesterday I chatted with the teacher some more. I told her that we’d talk to him about how to be a good friend and would work with him on controlling his aggression. AND yes, work with him on listening and following the rules, etc. Sigh. I told the teacher that I had witnessed H in action, and told her about him pushing Max’s older brother. She said that today, one of the bigger kids came to her crying. She asked him what was wrong and the kid said “The little kid pushed me down.”
LOL LOL LOL LOL
Okay, it’s not funny. Well, it is sort of funny, but I have to keep that to myself.
Mostly, it’s embarrassing. It was embarrassing when a dear friend of mine came to visit me when I was recovering from surgery. She brought her 2 daughters with her. H hit them over the head with his plastic golf club. It was also embarrassing when H was playing with his cousins and wacked his 7 year old cousin over the head with the golf club as well.
Napoleon at his best.
Blue Eyes and I are in for a long haul.
We’re open to suggestions. Was your kid aggressive like this when he/she was little? How did you handle it?
Oh and for the record…The Boy was always the BIGGEST kid in his class. He could have taken down any kid he wanted. But, he was mild and meek. In fact, when he was little like H, he didn’t like playing with the boys because they were too aggressive and that made him very uncomfortable. Instead, he mostly played with the girls and one or two other mild/meek boys. He was the type who would cry if another kid looked at him cross-eyed. The boys in his class were just too rough for him.
How did this happen? How is my GIANT son, a big softee and my TINY son, a bully?
What in the world?