This has been circulating via email amongst the Skins fan. It’s a sad sad sad day, for sure. (and yes…I’m still a Redskins Fan and yes, I’m still a Jim Zorn fan. . . but it gets harder and harder every day…)
Memorial Service
Washington
DEADSKINS
Sunrise: 1932 – Sunset: 2009
Washington
DEADSKINS
FedExField
Landover, Maryland
Pallbearers
Brian Mitchell
Rick “Doc” Walker
John Riggins
LaVar Arrington
Joe Jacoby
Trevor Matich
———–
“Hail to the Deadskins”
Hail to the Deadskins,
No victory.
We can’t score touchdowns,
We just take the three!
Run or pass and score, we need a lot more,
Portis doesn’t practice ‘cause his foot’s sore.
Gripe on, gripe on ‘til Vin-ny’s gone
Shame in Wash-ing-ton
Boo, Boo, Boo!
Hail to the Deadskins,
No victory.
Let’s grab Dan Snyder
Hang him from a tree!
————
Funeral Arrangements (Ten Years in the Making)
by
Snyder/Cerrato Funeral Home
Ashburn, Virginia
—————–
Obituary
The Washington Deadskins, born the
Boston Braves in 1932, passed away in
October 2009, following a ten-year long
illness inflicted upon it by team owner
Daniel M. Snyder and pseudo-general
manager Vinny Cerrato. After several false
alarms and faint glimmers of playoff
hope, the once proud franchise developed
a fatal aversion to the end-zone, and
succumbed in a slow, painful death. The
team leaves behind thousands of
disgruntled fans, angry tailgaters, and
despondent season ticket holders, as well
as tons of unsold Deadskins merchandise,
one puzzled quar terback, and an
emasculated head coach.
Oh, how the once mighty have fallen!
Order of Service
Processional
Hymn …………………………. “Hail to the Deadskins”
Testimonials ……………….. Norv Turner, Terry Robiskie, Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, and Joe Gibbs
Apology to Fans ………….. Daniel M. Snyder & Vinny Cerrato
Eulogy ………………………..Jim Zorn (this could take a while)
Hymn ………………………. “Amazing Disgrace”
Benediction ……… ……….Brian Mitchell (got to have the last word)
RecessionalBurial at FedExField(Just short of the north end-zone)followed by a torch and pitchfork march to the homes ofDan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato.
Repast at Johnny Rocket’s overpriced burgers and shakes.
That is so terribly sad. RIP, Deadskins. I used to love you, now you just suck.
Seahawks bloggers seem to think Jason Campbell is our next QB…
On the bright side, you could be the Rams!
Not a lot to love for either of our teams this year, but I did find this. I only wish my team would someday get a nationally televised game, so maybe I could see him lambaste us…
This is from Eric Stangel’s Twitter. He’s the head writer for Letterman’s late show, and I don’t twitter but I read his– he covers sports with tons of one liners all the time. I think it’s his sport outlet for creativity or something. Anyway, I hope this makes you laugh, though it might make you cry.
—————-
# NFL: In a desperate attempt to get back in the playcalling loop, Jim Zorn has changed his name to Sherman Zorn…
7:54 PM Oct 26th
# NFL: Zorn on sidelines: “I totally would have called a better play on that one… That one 2.. And that one…” Redskins7:32 PM Oct 26th
# Scene: Cards BP. Player: Coach McGwire, how would u approach hitting? McGwire: Sorry, I’m not here 2 talk about the past7:30 PM Oct 26th
# Mark McGwire joins Cardinals as hitting coach & will be back in uniform… a uniform 3 sizes smaller than when he played7:25 PM Oct 26th
# NFL: You get the feeling that while he’s on the sidelines, someone’s changing the lock to Jim Zorn’s office… Redskins7:05 PM Oct 26th
# “No, Jim Zorn you’re the head coach, but let Sherm call the plays… & give him your headset… & parking space” Redskins6:55 PM Oct 26th
LOL LOL LOL – and Boo Hoo Boo Hoo…sad day. You know I LOVE Jim Zorn…but it’s just so darn sad.
Oh and you guys in Seattle can HAVE Jason Campbell. Please just don’t make us take Seneca Wallace in exchange. Please.
I have been a Redskins fan since childhood – they were my home team and will always be my favorites. They have had many ups and downs over the years. I remember holding a Super Bowl party and of course they lost — but I was so happy they had even made it that far. And then we have this year in which they look as pitiful as one of the teams in my new home state — the Cleveland Browns — while the Skins will always have my heart I will follow the Saints since they know how to play the game. Cheers.
Funny how things work out. I remember when the Saints were the Aints and fans wore bags over their heads. Now, they are my Superbowl pick. Drew Brees is really getting it done in NO.
And yes, I’ll always root for my Skins. It just makes it much more difficult to watch and enjoy an entire game. I find myself searching for chores to do before the 2nd quarter. Sad.
What’s really bad though, is that I have to actually go OUT to watch the game, so I go to a sports bar in order to be able to see my Seahawks since I live in Denver.
So I can’t find any chores to do… but I do find pitchers to drink!
That’ll work!